Call Me the Classics Slacker

I’m a Classics Slacker. Maybe you’re one, too. A Classics Slacker is someone who always wanted to read the classics but never quite got around to it. A Classics Slacker comes across those Greatest Books of All Time lists and feels unworthy, uneasy, and a little bit nauseous. Sure, a Classics Slacker says, “I’ll read Ulysses someday.” You won’t. I know. I know because I’ve been saying someday, too—for, like, 30 years.

No more. This Classics Slacker is reading the “great books” so you don’t have to. And I’m going to summarize them right here, on this site. This is my service to Classics Slackers everywhere, my way of giving back.

I’m starting with Moby-Dick. Why? Because it’s the classic classic. However, I’ve just read the chapter titles (all 135 of them) and frankly, I’m concerned. Among them: “Of the Monstrous Pictures of Whales”; “Of the Less Erroneous Pictures of Whales, and the True Pictures of Whaling Scenes”; “Of Whales in Paint; in Teeth; in Wood; in Sheet-Iron; in Stone; in Mountains; in Stars.” I may have bitten off more whale blubber than I can chew.

But I’m going for it anyway. And you can, too. Start here and keep scrolling down. New posts will appear at the bottom. But don’t expect them to fall as fast as raindrops. I am, after all, a Classics Slacker.